• Kale Chips- A Story

    by  • August 6, 2012 • Cooking/Baking • 17 Comments

    This past weekend I sent hubby out with a friend to go see Steve Miller at the Cape Cod Melody Tent.  I decided there would be no better time to have a girls night in, then when hubby was out for the night.  It also meant that I could finally try Kale Chips!

    I had a whole menu planned for girls night. My specialty Spinach and Feta Quiche, Homemade Pasta Salad, and Kale Chips.  I quickly realized that I did not have all the ingredients I needed for my pasta salad, so I switched that out for Jasmine rice. No worries (be happy).

    As the kiddos bed time came around, I started working on the Kale Chips. I cut the kale away from its vine, washed it, spun dry it, and gave it a good EVOO massage. I was fluttering around the kitchen like Martha Stewart on amphetamines and turned my oven to 450 degrees. I laid the kale out in a single layer on the baking sheet, and sprinkled the greens lovingly with sea salt then tossed them into the oven. I wiped the sweat from my forehead (it was hot after all), set my oven timer for 30 minutes, and retreated back to a cooler spot in my house.

    I don’t know what I was thinking, and I’m sure by now you caught onto the fact that I turned my oven on to roast, what is basically a flimsy leaf, for an entire 30 minutes (!!!!!!!!!)-but clearly my head was not right at the time.

    A mere 15 minutes after roasting in the oven, my Kale Chips set afire, my house flooded with smoke, and all the kids in the house came out screaming that my air conditioners were on fire and we had to evacuate- STOP, DROP, ROLLLL!  I killed the kale, I killed it dead and traumatized three children in the process.

    I don’t have many fires in my kitchen, but when I do it often involves vegetables. How that all works out, I have not a clue.  I love veggies, but I also like to set them on fire. I must have some underlying psychological issues. Maybe I was force fed my veggies as a child? Mom? Are you reading this?!?!?!

    The end result of my most recent house fire leaves me without a single picture to share with you. I was too busy putting out the flames, and assuring the children we weren’t going to die. Kids, they are so dramatic sometimes!

    If you want to make Kale Chips, don’t be like me. Don’t follow my directions. Nope, don’t do it. I also advise you against eating burnt Kale Chips. I tried them, they tasted like I inhaled an ash tray. What possessed me to try burnt Kale Chips? I don’t know that either. Again, I’m leaning towards unresolved psychological issues here.

    Have you tried Kale Chips yet? What recipe do you use? I hear they are absolutely tasty when not ablaze!

    About

    17 Responses to Kale Chips- A Story

    1. michelle
      August 6, 2012 at 2:03 pm

      Sorry about your “hot” night! I loooove kale chips. I only use the amounts as a guide. Just eyeball it. Also, if you don’t put it on a rack, put it on a cookie sheet and just flip it half way. Enjoy! Here’s my recipe:
      4C Kale
      1 teas. olive oil
      1/4 teas. kosher salt
      Wash kale, tear into small pieces, pat dry, put in bowl, drizzle with olive oil and a touch of salt. Spread on large wire rack on top of baking pan.

    2. August 6, 2012 at 2:14 pm

      BWAHAHAHAH! So much for a relaxing & fun night, eh? Sorry your Kale Chips turned out the way they did. At least you have a funny story to tell.

      • Ashley B.
        August 6, 2012 at 2:15 pm

        I’m just glad I didn’t burn the quiche!

    3. Amy
      August 6, 2012 at 2:34 pm

      LMAO Glad everyone was safe! I don’t think I will be trying these anytime soon because I’m bad in the kitchen and would probably burn the whole place down!

      • Ashley B.
        August 6, 2012 at 2:40 pm

        Safe, yes! I am still hearing about the “horrible fire in the house” from the kiddos though, lol.

    4. August 6, 2012 at 2:34 pm

      Hahahah! I’m glad I’m not the only one who sets fire to vegetables.

      The last major kitchen fire I had I set fire to an entire bag of popcorn. . . in the MICROWAVE! That takes talent!

      • Ashley B.
        August 6, 2012 at 2:39 pm

        I absolutely LOVE my popcorn burnt. I am a sicko, I know. It really isn’t that hard to set popcorn on fire, so don’t feel bad :)

    5. August 6, 2012 at 2:36 pm

      Oh Ashley, you poor thing!!! I love Kale chips when done right, they are good and good for you. Even my picky 11 year old son loves them, and that says a bunch!! This is the recipe I’ve used and it turns out great: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/melissa-darabian/crispy-kale-chips-recipe/index.html We live in the mountains, though, so I have to cook it a bit longer due to elevation, but we love them!!

      • Ashley B.
        August 6, 2012 at 2:38 pm

        Thank you for the recipe! I can’t wait to try them not burnt :)

    6. August 6, 2012 at 2:39 pm

      Very good idea, thanks for sharing!

      • Ashley B.
        August 6, 2012 at 2:40 pm

        Any time! :)

    7. August 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

      HA!! I’m laughing to myself because this is SO something that I would do!! Better luck next time :P

      • Ashley B.
        August 7, 2012 at 8:52 am

        Thank you :)

    8. August 8, 2012 at 11:58 am

      Ha! That is definitely one for the books! I have been known myself to set a few things ablaze….even a toaster over :) Always good to keep a fire extinguisher handy ;)

      • Ashley B.
        August 8, 2012 at 1:46 pm

        So true Ellie! Like my best friend said (afterwards) it definitely makes for laughter throughout the years to come! You set a toaster oven on fire? Oh my!

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